Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

I woke up yesterday morning with my head feeling sore in the back. I knew what it meant and a quick swipe of my hand over the back of my head came up with a fistful of hair. Sigh...

I washed my hair today and allowed myself some sniffles in the shower as it came out in handfuls. I'm lucky to have such thick hair because I don't think you can really tell at this point but it is only a matter of time. My mom and I were remembering that it comes out pretty quickly once it starts and I'm not sure I want to go through the trauma of seeing it fall out bit by bit. I think I'd better let my hairdresser do the deed. Anyone know how to henna a head? Or maybe I need one of those jeweled headresses that ancient Egyptians used to wear - that cover your head and come down in beads to your shoulders? Would that be cool or what?

Once the initial week or so of feeling awful was behind me, I'd actually managed to convince myself that this second cancer was all just a very bad dream. Hence, why I haven't been blogging. The cancer blog is for that woman who has cancer again, not for this woman who feels pretty good right now. And I have felt pretty good this last week, and so it's easy to deny that there is anything wrong with me. Cancer? No way! Toxic chemicals in my body? Nope. Not me! I'm healthy and strong and happy. Right?

Okay, not right. The morning hair alarm was a jolt back to my reality. But even though it makes me teary, I am reassured that the chemotherapy is doing its job. If its killing hair cells, then it must be killing cancer cells, too. If baldness is one price to pay in order to zap the bad guys, then bring it on. This, too, shall pass.